The tale of the Snake Killer

It all started last summer ...  The kids spotted a small garter snake in the back flower beds.  I mean, small.  They tried to catch it, but he eluded us.  Fast forward a couple of months and we saw a significantly larger snake.  Either that baby seriously grew up or we were starting to have a snake sanctuary in the backyard.  The kids (and I) were freaked out.  I took to wearing tall galoshes whenever I worked in the garden.  We were on constant alert.  Then came winter and no sightings - obviously.  Cold-blooded, duh.  But I've been on the lookout since the weather has warmed up.  Nothin' .... until a few days ago.

I decided to mow the lawn last Monday, and was mowing near the garden when I saw something move out of the corner of my eye.  There, in the middle of our little strawberry patch, was Mr. medium-length garter snake.  Not making a get-away, just enjoying MY garden.  I yelled to the house for Elle to bring me a pair of boots and gloves .. and a shovel.  I had no idea what I was going to do to dispose of the trespasser but wearing boots and gloves would definitely help me feel a little more in control.  Didn't stop me from getting a serious case of the heebie jeebies just looking at the thing, though.

Once I was armed, I crept into the strawberry patch.  It started to inch forward so I knew I had to make my move quickly.  I stepped down on it to stop it from getting away.  Didn't kill it, yet, but I felt well protected in my cute, red and white polka dot rain boots.  That snake couldn't hurt me any! I was totally laughing at myself, though, knowing that any of the neighborhood kids would have just picked the thing up and kept it as a pet.  I, on the other hand, couldn't let the poor thing live!  So I used the shovel to sever the thing in half.  Well, a little closer to the tail-end than the head but still pretty well close to half.  Once it stopped wriggling around and I had sufficiently stopped shuddering myself, I scooped up the 2 pieces of Mr. garter snake (ewww!) and left the shovel on top of the railroad ties near the garden.  I figured that since I had killed it, Mike could dispose of it.  Or at least the kids could see it and appreciate how amazingly brave their mom was for killing the thing.

A few hours later, the kids came home from school and I told them about my adventure.  Haley went outside to check it out and said, "It's tiny!"  I knew it wasn't python-length or anything but it was still a good 14 inches'ish.  When I looked at the shovel, that's when this whole story became a significantly more disgusting tale.  The "tiny" bit she saw was the tail portion ... and that's all that was still in the shovel.  The head-half of that stupid snake was gone!!!

Got the willies yourself now??  Eww!  Either a cat or bird or something came along and gobbled him up, or Mr. garter snake wasn't really dead and is now plotting his revenge against me.  I'm seriously hoping that he bled out somewhere and that we don't ever meet again.  But when my mom asked, "Do you really think that he's a bachelor snake and that you don't have others?", I was freaked out anew for what else is slithering around back there.  It's just a garter snake, right?  No biggie.  But it's a huge biggie to me!  And I've still got the heebies.

Mike started calling me Snake Slayer but I guess in truth I'm just a Snake Maimer.  :(

Ewww! Heebie jeebies again....