Hey, does anyone...?

Does anyone have more Christmas decorations than is probably normal? Is anyone going to see Harry Potter again tonight? Does anyone feel disappointed that the supposed Snowmageddon blizzard this week barely dropped 3" of snow? Is anyone still in their jammies at 4pm? Did anyone have chocolate caramel popcorn for lunch? Has anyone had a fire burning all day in their fireplace? Does anyone hate the thought of black Friday and would rather pay the extra $$ than go shopping at 4am with a bunch of crazy women standing in endless lines?

Hey - me too! What a coincidence!

A perfect Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving was a little bit non-traditional, which was perfect by me. We originally thought that it would just be our little family for Thanksgiving. Us + Grandma = 7 for dinner. So not fun to cook a turkey for just us, right? So we thought about going OUT for Thanksgiving dinner. I was excited already.

Then my fav Utah cousin, Linsey ;), told me that their little family was on their own this year, and that they were thinking of going out, too. Hello! An idea was born. Now our party was up to 14. We both loved the idea of not cooking but also realized that one fun part of Thanksgiving is watching the cousins all run around together. So....

We ordered everything from Mimi's Cafe and ate in at Linsey's. Plenty, plenty of yummy food (traditional Thanksgiving fare) and no major work for any of us. Soooo perfect.

After dinner, little cousins played, big cousins and several adults played Halo Reach (the Jamesons are quite the talented family that way -- especially Linsey, who is known to beat all of her boys and their friends), and the rest of us just talked and snitched more food.

Finished the day with an early showing of Tangled, which the kids all loved (although Christian will deny that). The Preslars came, too, which my kids also loved.

Thanks, Linsey, for hosting! It all made for such a perfect day.

I'm Thankful for...

* Vibrant fall colors
* A couple of awesome snow storms (one currently blowing through), even though they covered up those vibrant fall colors
* Beautiful snow covering every individual branch on each tree
* Road trips with my sisters, separately (recently) and together (in years past)
* Cousins -- fun to play with as kids and awesome to hang out with as adults
* Laser hair removal
* My daddy's cowboy hat, sitting on my coffee table
* Sleep, preferably without my kiddies in bed with me
* Cuddling in bed with my kiddies in the morning before we all have to get going
* Ordering Thanksgiving food from a restaurant this year, and then eating in at my super cool cousin's home
* Still having Thanksgiving decorations up
* Watching the fire burn in the fireplace, kids snuggled up next to it in their jammies
* Chubby little 3 yr old legs and arms
* Jumper cables (which I've sadly needed a lot lately)
* My belief in an afterlife
* Little signs of affection from my 12 yr old son
* My Mikey

Cowboy cousins

... in their Papa's hats.

This is what you get...

... when you stay in the same house as your photographer brother, and he finds your camera and happens to be eating breakfast with your daughter at just the right time of morning, with just the right amount of light coming in the window.

Perfect impromptu photo shoot. Love it.

H. R. Remington

This is my dad (standing up) back in the 80's (??) with his business partners. They were land developers and had been working at another company together.When they broke off on their own, they wanted to call their new company Remington Properties, but the name was already taken. Over their usual breakfast one morning of huevos rancheros, someone suggested they call the new company H.R. (from Huevos Rancheros) Remington Properties. And their new company was born.

Dad then found a picture of this happy Texan in a magazine. It was just a thumbnail shot. He enlarged it, framed it and hung it in their conference room. Clients never knew that H.R. Remington wasn't actually a person, or that this guy had nothing to do with their business.
Years later, when the business was sold and dad retired to Montana, he bought this 1,100 acre ranch. It was almost as large as the town itself.And of course, he named it ... Remington Ranch.

Funeral weekend

I'm in a much better place, emotionally, than I have been over the past couple of weeks. Being in Montana this past week was so cathartic for me ... being with family, laughing and crying, getting used to the house without dad in it, helping make the necessary plans and attending the funeral.It was, by far, the most interesting funeral I've ever been to. Dad was not a spiritual guy -- in fact, quite the opposite sometimes. The funeral had everything from tears and laughter, spiritual and sacriligious, great memories, yodeling (no joke) and country songs. It was an open-mike forum so lots of people stood and told memories of dad or shared something they learned from him. The funeral director told me afterward that he had never laughed so much in a Catholic church. Dad would have loved it.

Quinn put together a beautiful slide show of dad's life and a video of dad's haiku also played on a loop. Red Lodge is a small town, so most of the town knew dad. Some stores closed for the funeral and there was standing room only at the church.

We 6 kids sat on the front row with mom, with all of our families behind us.Dad's only sibling, my Uncle Pat, and their cousin, Tom.Only a small part of Shirlee's family, the Trujillos. Auntie Teri, Uncle Mitchell, Nana, Auntie Peggy and some of my cousins in the background. The Trujillos were such a huge part of my childhood, especially, since I spent every summer with them. It was so, so good to see so many of them.Uncle Pat and Aunt Susan (on leave from their mission in Toronto) with my cousins Cory, Ryan & Linsey. We had a great time together for a couple of days.And the little Farley cousins had a great time, too. We all stayed together in a townhome, with cousins sleeping on the floor and in the closets. We haven't all been together like that in ... well a long, long time.My little brother, Thomas, his fiance, Katie, and their adorable daughter, Leokadia. It was my first time meeting Katie & baby Leo, who are both so great. Aunt Susan & my brother, Quinn.One of many group meals. One waitress in this cafe came up to our group with tears in her eyes. She talked about knowing dad and how often he went there to eat. She said he loved their lemon meringue pie and would usually eat a piece before his meal. So, they brought those pies to the funeral and to mom's home later.My brothers, Tom & David.Little Leokadia brought much needed joy to mom's heart.A few other memorable moments from the week: Paige refusing to eat Ranch dressing because Papa had owned a ranch, working with my childhood friend, Leah, to choose and scan pictures for the slide show, Uncle Pat giving baby Leo a blessing at Tom & Katie's request, Ryan making a Diet Coke run after the funeral for those of us with crying-headaches, going out with the whole gang that night to sing karaoke (one of dad's favorite things) ...

It was a sad, happy, wonderful week. Just as dad would have wanted.

Old man

Today is my Mikey's birthday. Remember his amazing 40th party last year? Ummm, not so much this year. We did celebrate, just in a different way. I sent him 41 e-mails throughout the day (thanks for the idea, Steph), telling him why we love him. Here's part of our list:

• You're a great gift giver
• You're an awesome provider
• You make me laugh everyday
• You truly enjoy being a family guy
• He loves me, too (Elle)
• You make us all Ute fans
• You take me on cool trips
• You know everyone wherever we go
• You always know what to say
• You've dated all of my best friends
• You have a bromance
• "Because bald is awesome." (Haley)
• He gets to say "I object!" at work (Haley)
• He gives you hugs when you're feeling bad (Christian)
• He takes me on daddy/daughter dates (Paige)
• He gives us daddy surprises (Paige)
• You nick-named yourself "The Great One
• He was the best bish ever (Christian)
• You allow me my vampire obsession
• He writes the best church talks (Haley)
• He's so handsome (Paige)
• You still like me after all these years
• You support my movie habit
• You're my rock when I need it
• You think of me during the day and let me know it by calling and e-mailing
• You make other people feel good about themselves
• You have rockin' taste in music
• You're a fantastic dad
• You bring me Diet Cokes
• You took the time and effort to interview my dad and grandpa before they passed away
• You're a foodie like me

I left the more inappropriate reasons why I love him off of this list. You're welcome. We celebrated by having dinner at Wendy's (so posh) and by spending the night in a hotel in the middle of Wyoming. Dad's funeral is this weekend so we're on the road.

Thanks, Mikey, for being the love of my life. Happy birthday, babe.

I've been so sad this week. I haven't been on this side of grief before and my emotions have surprised me. I really love my dad. Loved? Love? Which should it be? I'm not ready to talk in past-tense about him yet. I watched him lose his hair and drop a lot of weight over the past few years going through chemo, but I still wasn't prepared for him to die. I'm just so sad to lose him.

My little brother said he has no regrets -- that he said everything he wanted to say to dad and had the kind of relationship he wanted to have with him. I'm not sure I can say that. I'm so, so grateful that I went to see him a month ago. That trip was perfect -- he wasn't overly sick yet, we had lots of hugging and talking time, just being together time. I'm so glad that my last memories of him were those few days together. But I still have regrets. I could have called him more often. I could have skyped him more, told him more what he has meant to me ... What he'll always mean to me.

I appreciate so many kind sentiments from others but the truth is that I really just feel like crawling back in bed and not talking to anyone for a few weeks. I've definitely retreated a bit. I'll return to something resembling normalcy at some point, I'm sure. I just need time to get there.

It was so strange and sad to be up in Red Lodge last week without him there. To look down the hall at his room and the computer where he spent so much time (writing countless Facebook updates, most of which were inappropriate but usually so funny), to see his truck sitting empty outside, to still smell him in his bedroom, to see all of his things still in his room where he left them (his extremely organized closet and neatly hung jeans rack), to see his haiku poetry all gathered together waiting to be made into a book, to see his cowboy boots by the side of his bed and his cowboy hats all stacked neatly nearby....

I love you, dad. I miss you so much. I know you are well again, though, and that I'll see you again someday. And then we'll have a big bear hug, like you always give, and things will be o.k. again. Until then....

My Dad's Auto-Obituary

Mike Farley



1940 - Pomona, CA
2010 - Red Lodge, MT

If you are reading this, then I will have already crossed over to the other side. At age 70, the cancer finally came back and got me.

Michael Joseph Farley - I am the oldest son of Cloid and Charlotte (Davis) Farley of La Habra, CA, grandson of Abe and Emma Davis of Fullerton, CA, and great grandson of James and Sarah Davis who settled in Valley Center at the foot of Mt. Palomar near San Diego in 1846 before California became a state.

The road to Montana was a long one for me. At age 15, I ran away from home to Casper, Wyoming to become a cowboy. No one would hire me so I washed dishes for a summer and then hitch-hiked back home to California. But the hook was set for an eventual return to the high plains and open spaces.

I was an average high school student, mostly interested in cars and girls. I was an FFA member and raised a steer to show at the county fair. I earned a BS Degree in Landscape Architecture at Cal Poly and did graduate work in City and Regional Planning at USC.

I served in the U.S. Army Reserve from 1963 to 1970 doing aerial photomapping, stereographic projection and topographic survey work with the Corps if Engineers.

I went on to become a real estate developer in my professional life, managing shopping centers, industrial parks and office buildings, building houses and apartment projects and developing planned communities both for myself and for large corporations in California, Utah and Texas over a 30 year period. With 3 partners, I co-founded and operated H.R. Remington Properties, Inc., developing and building award-winning residential communities in both Northern and Southern California.

Along my journey I married twice, first for 11 years to Joanne (Hixon) Farley with whom I had 4 wonderful children and which unfortunately ended in divorce in Salt Lake City, Utah. Two years later in California, I met and married my sweetheart and best friend, Shirlee (Trujillo) Farley who had a son of her own, and together we had still another son between us. We have now been married 34 wonderful years and altogether have been blessed with 6 great kids and 17 grandkids.

We sold our company in 1988 and at long last finally pulled up stakes and headed for the mountains, plains and blue skies around Red Lodge, Montana, where I felt I belonged. We bought the old Castagne ranch on the west bench above the town from Al Norby which became Remington Ranch.

It was here we discovered that to end up with a small fortune in agriculture, you need a large one to start out with. But we loved every minute of it. With my cousin, Tom Abbott, and his sons, Wade and Jason, we pastured other people's cattle, put up export quality Timothy hay for southwestern US and overseas racetrack markets and ran a small cow/calf and feeder operation. We also built roads and sold some 20-acre tracts.

Our 19 years in Red Lodge have been the highlight of our lives. We love this place and everyone in it and have more cherished friends here than we can count.

My special interests have included my family and friends, the history of the old west, collecting related books and historic firearms, elk hunting, writing haiku poetry, singing karaoke at the Red Lodge Lounge and telling stories to my grandkids.

Economic necessity and ill-health caused us to sell off parts of the ranch over time and we finally sold the last of it and moved into town in 2008. The ranch is now prospering and accommodating Red Lodge's residential growth.

In June of 2006, we discovered I had colon cancer which had already spread to my liver. Incredibly and unforgivably, I had never been to see a doctor in over 25 years - never had a check-up, a colonoscopy or even a blood test. And now they were giving me only 4 months to live had we done nothing.

The next 4 years became a fascinating adventure in cancer treatment and survivorship at the state-of-the-art Billings Clinic Cancer Center. I suffered little and learned a lot about medical science that I never dreamed of and which fascinated me greatly.

I was treated by a world-class oncologist, Dr. Thomas Purcell, and a multi-disciplinary team of doctors, surgeons, nurses and dedicated professionals who gave their heart and talent to me. Through 3 operations, 2 years of chemotherapy and other tricks of the trade, we eliminated all traces of the cancer, attained complete remission and extended my life another 4 wonderful years.

I love the Billings Clinic like my own family, which is exactly what they became. I served on the Clinic's Advisory Board for Cancer Survivorship. Through work such as theirs, I believe that long extensions of life through improved cancer care and even a cure may be close at hand.

I will see and rejoin Shirlee on the other side, as well as all of my children and their families: (1) Quinn Farley and Suzie Lemacks of Salt Lake City, UT, and their kids Julia, Grant, Jake and Sofia, (2) David Trujillo-Farley and Toni Freitas of Edinburgh, Scotland, (3) Erin and Brett Blake of La Canada, CA, and their kids Spencer, Madison, Allison, Sydney and Kate, (4) Misty and Mike Mayfield of Bountiful, UT, and their kids Christian, Haley, Paige and Elle Grace, (5) Kelly and Zach Sharples of Murray, UT, and their kids Connor, Emmy and Simon, and (6) Thomas Trujillo-Farley and Katie McManus of Broomall, PA, and their daughter Leokadia.

I also leave for a while my brother, Patrick, and his wonderful wife, Susan, of Phoenix, AZ, together with their awesome kids Cory, Ryan, Brett, Katie, Linsey, Chad and Emily, plus a lively crew of 30 grandnieces and nephews.

What a great family! What a ride I've had. Don't be sad for me, only that we are parted for a time. Stand tall and celebrate your life along with mine because to live in the hearts of those we leave behind is not to die.

lupine . . .
a darker blue
in the hoof prints

Paige's Definition of Basketball.....

By Special Guest-Blogger Mike

I'm sitting here in my room with my little Paige watching a professional basketball game: the Utah Jazz against the Toronto Raptors.

Paige: Dad, what do you like best--football or basketball?

Me: I think I like football better. How about you?

Paige: Neither.

Me: Well, if you want you can go downstairs and watch something else.

Paige: (deadpan) No...I just love sitting here watching big sweaty dudes do stuff.

She is soooo her mother.

Halloween 2010

Cutest darn witch I ever saw.
Paige called herself a 'teenage Alice in Wonderland.' At age 6.

Christian was bummed that none of his friends knew who Neo was from The Matrix. Not that Christian has seen the movie but his parents are kind of geeks that way.
And Haley, who goes to a different school where Halloween costumes & parades aren't allowed. Instead, they had crazy hair day. Hiding a couple of plastic cups in her hair worked wonders.
Other fun costumes ... Go Spongebob.
Couple 'a nerds.
Elle with 2 of her favorite of Christian's friends.
The school's principal. She's always a good sport.
This headless kid cracked me up.
My friend (and 6th grade teacher), Wendy.
Haley's class also made haunted houses, that they spray painted black. The picture doesn't quite capture it, but it was very cool.
Paige's dance company learned the Thriller dance and then performed it on Main Street for the trick-or-treaters. I love her scary face in the 2nd shot.
Afterward, we trick-or-treated at all of the little shops on Main. It looked like a page out of This American Life or something.
Trick-or-treating at the mortuary kind of creeped me out.
The little girls and I finished the night trunk-or-treating at the church, while the older 2 took off with their friends. Guess mom & dad just aren't cool enough for them anymore.