The Doleac Prank

By Special Guest Blogger, Mike
Drew Hansen Back in the Summer of 1999, I worked with Drew Hansen, who was a starter for the 1998 Final Four Utah Basketball team.  Drew was in the middle of law school and was working at my firm for the summer. That summer, the NCAA released a report that was critical of the graduation rates of several college basketball teams. The University of Utah was on that list, in large part because a few players had transferred from Utah and also because quite a few former LDS missionaries were on the team, who understandably, took longer than five years to graduate.   Utah Head Coach, Rick Majerus, took great pride in the academic achievements of his players and went absolutely ballistic when the report was released. He called together his current and many former players and held a press conference to dispute the report. He made a huge deal about how Drew was at Stanford Law School. He also took great pleasure introducing "Dr. Larry Cain," who was one of the players that the report claimed did not graduate in time, but who had, in fact, graduated from the U in '93 and gone on to graduate from medical school in '97. Utah Coach Rick Majerus (r) with Andre Miller Notably absent from Majerus's press conference was Michael Doleac. Doleac had been drafted by the Orlando Magic in the first round of the 1998 draft (12th overall) and was in Florida training for his second year in the NBA. While at Utah, Doleac had a nearly perfect GPA even though, unlike some athletes, he took difficult, hard-science courses to prepare for medical school. When Doleac left Utah for the NBA, he had not yet graduated because he still had one last class left to take…a very challenging, upper level chemistry class. He planned to return to finish the class when his NBA schedule permitted. Michael Doleac During his senior season, Doleac was named First Team Academic All-American. That same year, Drew Hansen was named to the Third Team Academic All-American Team. Doleac loved to tease Drew about only making the Third Team. Drew loved to tease Doleac about not graduating from college. The day after Majerus’s press conference, Drew and I called Doleac on his cell phone. Our conversation went like this: Doleac: Hello? Me: Yes, this John Hopkins calling from NCAA academic compliance for a…..Mr. Dol-lay-ox (intentionally mispronouncing his name).  We got your phone number from the University of Utah compliance office. Doleac: Uh…that's me. What can I do for you? Me: Mr. Doleac, I don't know if you have been following the news, but our office recently released a report about the poor graduation rate for players at the University of Utah basketball team. Apparently Coach Majerus took issue with our report and held a little press conference yesterday up in Utah to challenge our report.  He really ticked off the top brass here at the NC-Double A. So I'm calling to interview former players to actually confirm whether our reports are correct. I will be taking just a few minutes of your time. Doleac: Yeah, uh… I guess that’s O.K. Me: Great. Well now let’s talk about the players you played with at Utah. Let’s start with Andre Miller. Our records show that he was a prop 48 and barely got in to college. I’m sure he didn’t graduate. (Note: At the time, a "prop 48" was a player who didn't have high enough test scores in high school to qualify for college.  The NCAA made those players sit out the first year of college to show they could cut it academically before being allowed to play.) Doleac: No. That’s not true at all. Andre graduated in three years. I actually went to his graduation ceremony. Me: You sure? Alex Jensen (L) with Rick Majerus Doleac: Yes. Absolutely. Me. O.K. Miller…graduated. Check. Let’s go to Alex Jensen. I have here that he didn’t graduate. Doleac: Alex is still playing. He’s going to graduate. Me: Impossible, I have here that he was a freshmen over five years ago. Doleac: Alex is a Mormon. He went on a mission to England for two years but he is going to graduate this year. Me: Did you say he’s a moron? Doleac: (starting to get agitated) No! He’s a MORMON. Those guys go on missions for their church for two years. But I know he is on track to graduate this next year.  Me: O.K. How about Drew Hansen? Our records show he is from Tool-ley (Tooele), Utah and that he never went to class. Yup. Looks like he dropped out after his freshman year. Doleac: Drew Hansen is at Stanford Law School. Me: Stratford? Doleac: (growing more agitated) No! Stanford. It’s only like one of the best law schools in the world. (sarcastically) Maybe you’ve heard of it? Me: Well how come Stanford let in a guy that dropped out after his freshman year. Huh? I think I may have just caught you in a lie, Mr. Doleac. Let me remind you, the NCAA does not look kindly upon liars. Doleac: (now really agitated). I'M NOT LYING! Drew Hansen graduated with HONORS. He was an academic all-American. He is one of the smartest guys I know. He just finished his first year at Stanford law school. Your records must be completely messed up. [At this point, Drew is rolling on the floor laughing his head off as quietly as he can]. Me: O.K. O.K. Now calm down sir. I only have a few more questions. Let's go to you. I see you have quite an impressive academic record. Excellent grades. It even says here that you were named academic all-American, is that right? Doleac: Yeah. Me: And what year did you graduate? Doleac: [long, long pause] Uh…I haven't actually graduated yet. I got drafted into the NBA last year. But, I only have one class left to do and I promise I’m going to finish that class in the next few years. Me: Wait a minute. Do you mean to tell me that a Prop 48, a Mormon and a guy from Tool-ley all graduated and you didn't? Doleac: Uh…yeah. Drew Hansen: (shouting into the phone): AND DON'T EVER FORGET THAT DOLEAC!!! Good times.  By the way, Doleac did return to the University of Utah after his NBA career concluded, finished his degree and is working on his masters.…and yes, all these years later, I still have Doleac's phone number programmed into my phone. And you would too.